You're pissing me off this week, commuter. What's gotten into you? There are fewer of you right now because most of you is on vacation...but it's been like, addition by subtraction. Don't get off your game just because you have to be at work while the rest of you frolicks with drug lords in Cancun. Keep it together, bitch.
You've been slowing down and stopping at the top of escalators, standing on the left, talking loud. One day you had the idiotic balls to bring a bike on the train during rush hour. I was happy to see that the smart part of you called you out on it, but used the moronic "guess you didn't get the memo" to address it. I hope a bus took you right off that bike as soon as you got off the train. Today you whiningly used the emergency button to tell the driver that...the car was hot? Yeah, it was warm in there...an emergency? No. Dick. When you were done, and you expected the entire car to erupt in applause because you came to our rescue and instead we all just ignored you, did you feel small?
Saturday you were great. Saturday you got out of your car at a stop light, went to window of the (asian?) guy in front of you and freaking chewed him out right there very loudly because he almost hit you. That was brilliant. But then it's like you wilted on Monday. Don't play musical chairs with me based on where we're getting off...just sit. If there's a paper on the seat beside me, you should KNOW by now that it's not mine...and no, I'm not touching it. If you want to sit, move it. And do not - unless you clearly understand that you and I have the same feeling toward the rest of you and we have communicated some kinship in that regard - make chit chat. We don't talk, you and I.
There's been some weird stuff going on...trains keep stopping too far past or too short of their marks, messing up our alignment with the escalator. Tourists are all over the place....but come on. You have one more day to redeem yourself for this week.
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