"I will haunt your penis."

A chilling Halloween tale.

The title there...that's what my wife told me this weekend. See, she has a bit of a unique request for me to carry out after she dies. I can't get into details, but I will just say that it is something that has me slightly uncomfortable in terms of certain repercussions it could have for me. This request came up again recently and I reiterated my hesitancy to address it, in the unlikely and unfortunate event she die soon.

So she put it very bluntly for me: "Well, if you don't do it, and if it's in any way possible, I won't just haunt you, but I will haunt your penis." And she went further...it would not just be any normal haunting, during the work day or while I was minding my own business, with the casual poltergeist or succubussing (to which I would not be opposed, by the way)...no, she said she would wait for the opportune time, just before my buddy was ready to report for work. Then, "I'll sneak up to it and say 'Boo,'" with the understanding that such a shock would scare my buddy into, well....retreat mode.

This has sufficiently frightened me into determining that I will without a doubt follow her request. Again, without going into details, just let me say that you should probably avoid Thanksgiving dinner at our house the year that Tina passes.

EDIT - wife just read this and asked that I clarify that what she wants me to do is neither illegal nor creepy.